Whisperings

Most things in life are cyclical with periods of drought and profusion. That is the nature of the world… the yin and yang. Wells run dry and then fill again. Except a very few wells with a healthy stream underneath that can give quality water although sparingly others run dry until it rains. Until such time you can look at the well and attempt, but will only draw muck in desperation. No one will benefit from such exertion —–not the well nor the drawer nor others who had benefitted from it in the past.

You can dig the well deeper to find other possible streams but it might not be the best solution in the long run. Best decision is to wait till the prolific season is upon us again.

Thoughts too run dry every now and then, rather the capability to be creative with a thought and I am going through such a period. Unless I write of something deeply personal (which I’d rather not),everyday boring events or write rubbish (again, I’d rather not), I can’t conjure up thoughts to save my life at the moment.

It is the yin period and I shall quote the Chinese theory on that “wise people detect the forces and regulate their lives accordingly”. So I shall be wise and abstain from posting muck.

Just thought I’ll let you know in case anyone wonders why I am quiet, as I found out someone already is thinking I am slack

However, I am not sure if I am saying goodbye, now that I am so used to shouting about my children’s antics to the world. I might come again at a later date, if I have something juicy to relay. Then again I might not. I might crawl back to my shell.

Take care all, especially my virtual friend jester, his witty big bro, kind and compassionate LD, pissu- the one who calls me ma’am, the lost soul, who I hope will not be lost for long, beautiful mother Indyana, Dili, ever elusive Jack Point who nonetheless leave a permanent impression with his witty prose, the one and only Darwin and last but not least Nishadha the tech wizard who gave me whole lot of compliments and everyone else who enjoyed reading what I had to write.

I am feeling a bit emotional to my surprise.

See ya and take care everyone

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Alright folks, the top part was just philosophical writing, the truth lies below

When your blog posts were vastly about your life as a mother, of the jubilations and tribulations and then the children slowly grow up to be responsible adults learning the intricacies of acceptable behaviour, what happens to the blog?

In short no playing up, no writing material!

My daughter who solely provided writing material for my blog is now an almost there adult acting more responsible, capable of civil conversation etc

So what do I do now?

I think this time I have really come to my tether. I know there are some who enjoy reading what I write but that does not mean I should write rubbish just to be alive.

I was made aware, rather unceremoniously, of an unintentional tendency of mine to look straight through unappealing people as if they didn’t exist. My radar seems to miss such people when their presence does not excite me and sort of dissipate them from my vision.

I heard someone say “she doesn’t like me”. I looked at her with an expression of ‘who me?’ and looked straight at her as if for the first time and thought ‘who are you? Yes I’ve seen the silhouette but have never noticed you as a person’.

Since then I have made a conscious effort to overcome my failing by striking a conversation with them.  However, I get utterly exhausted after such exertion. Brain races to find an excuse or hope for an interruption to escape the excruciating pain of pretending. If I can’t escape in a hurry, concentration takes a nosedive with glazed eyes and brain on  hibernate mode. I do correct my zombie stance the minute I become aware, however that is one hell of a hard way to live.

Some people are down right bores. No kidding. And these people do not know the meaning of keeping it short and sweet when they talk. No, they have to relate every bump of their tedious story. Sometimes I look at them while they yak and think “take a breather would ya”

That was that, now veering slightly………We went to this place for the umpteenth time on daughter’s behalf and the daughter did the talking ……the saleswoman was wearing a strong perfume which immediately played on my sinuses giving me a runny nose followed by the slow decline of mental agility with the message ‘snooze’. At one time the saleswoman looked at me and asked “would you like a drink of water?”

Later in the car I mentioned to the darling daughter, the affect strong perfume had on my sinuses, and that I must have looked sick for the saleswoman to ask if I wanted a drink of water.

“No mum, her perfume had nothing to do with it. If it is not concerning you, not fully, even remotely, you look utterly bored”.

This is so unfair!

That sounded egocentric!

Had she said “if it doesn’t interest you” I could’ve lived with that. But she said ‘if it is not concerning you’.

Who is this person psychoanalysing me? Do I know her? Darling daughter didn’t stop there, went right ahead with more of the same but I was too stunned digesting my first psychoanalysis to remember the rest.

I know I have a bad habit, I accept that. However it was not the case this time. As I mentioned, we went to this place for the umpteenth time and the first time we visited I asked all the relevant Q especially relating to safety, not just at this place but from every salesperson in every darn place we visited and showed ample interest.

Mind you, we visited six places in total over the course of few weekends; double those visits for five places and more times for the place with the woman and her strong perfume. That is a grand total of 13 times (maybe 14) going in circles.

Anyone in my place would’ve looked bored, nay, pulled their hair in frustration, because ‘someone’ could not make up their mind.

I wish myself ‘well done’ for lasting 100 long posts. Yes, I have done 100 posts! If you knew me you’d be shocked too for lasting this long. Theoretically I may have passed the 100 mark a good while back had the deleted posts did not face that fate in a frenzy of “I am busted” mood

I am surprised at the run I had, being the lazy writer that I am. Also considering the fact I found many ways to avoid writing at school and post school. I am also amazed at the things I managed to come up with, in the form of posts … mostly courtesy of my children and their antics, my female child in particular.

I shall divulge a secret not even my mother knew at the time. I hardly wrote my own essays I got for homework because I had a wonderful helper in the form of a high school English teacher living right next door who was just happy to write them for me. I think her passion for words and language got the better of her upon sighting the topics and was unable to curb the temptation. The first time she wrote my essay I thought ‘er.. do I now just copy this in my handwriting and take it to school?’ I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do. But I learnt fast enough what was best for me : )

Either way, while I was the beneficiary I didn’t complain. My school teachers are the culpable ones – they never picked up the difference in my crappy writing at school and that of the magnificent homework I bring. Love you aunty S, for doing those, you needn’t worry, you didn’t permanently impair my ability to write. See, I can put two words together without murdering the Queen. I may inflict pain upon her from time to time but not kill her outright.

Thankyou everyone for reading the mind enhancing (read the hidden sarcasm there) reading material I provide here for your pleasure and taking the time to leave your kind comments. Thank you also for allowing me to read your insightful posts and get a glimpse into the daily life in SL a generation later…….and see how things have changed in many ways yet stagnant in many progressive ways.

Here’s to another 100

Cheers!