Continuation of the Hilarious………..

13. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

14.Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wears.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought is was Sunday.

17. Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover

22. Please excuse Burma. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23.Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever ad sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best with, sore throat ad fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor”

By Popular Demand

Following are actual school excuse notes from parents, (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country. Enjoy!

1 My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E today. Please execute him.

2.Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot

3.Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan, 28,29,30,31,32 and also 33

4.Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip

6.John had been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7.Carlos has been absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part

8.Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9.Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side

10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the shits. (The words were really crossed out)

12. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust

There are more. Shall post them another day. My fav is #11

Heady Sex and the Dipping After Effect

 

Sex can take a lot out of you, can’t it?

Every topic I came up with after the exhilarating ride of my previous post has been a downer. They all seem mind numbingly dull. I don’t know what to do or where to go.

So I think I’ll take a breather for a few days (weeks?) until it runs its course from the system.

I am stoked with the title I managed to come up with for this post, I guess now I understand why my daughter says things like “OMG I am so going to tell that to my friends” when I do or say something in the privacy of our home.

In fact this title is an experiment to see if people actually click anything with a sexual connotation or is it the actual content that matters.

My stats say I had 178 views on the 3^rd of March

How’s that for a simple word?

Honestly!

PS: Beautiful and modest Indyana, please don’t be shocked by this.