Why?

I am only trying to understand.

Why did you stop with final achievement within your sight? It does not make sense to me. When I asked, you said, “It is too strenuous.”

I tried to comprehend, “Is it because training interfered with getting your homework done?” You said ‘no’

Few months back when you said you wanted to quit, we discussed about it and I explained my view on why it makes sense to continue when the reward is in sight.  

You agreed and we proceeded.

  

When I came home on Wednesday, you dropped the bombshell on me. With grading this Sunday, you said, “I don’t want to do karate anymore”. I must admit, it did not register with me at first. My brain had the immediate reaction brains have –  recall our previous conversation of (you) stopping karate altogether when you get the black belt.

With the realisation of your intentions and several questions later, your inclusive answers were “it is too strenuous” or “I don’t know”

Well son, it does not get strenuous overnight and there is no such answer, as “I don’t know”.

You were going for your black belt, son!

  

I have learnt since then, something happened at training on Monday and I want to know what it was. What exactly did that boy tell/call you and how did it affect in your decision to halt abruptly. It has to be something that went deep.   

You only had to go through two more days of training – the usual Thursday training and an extra day of training on Sat before the big day on Sunday.

It does not make sense to reach as far as your brown belt, continue to aim and train for the black belt, and then stop. Just like that.

You don’t do a marathon and say “I give up” when the finish line is within reach.

All I want is to understand why.

I hope you will open up and tell me, son.

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9 comments so far

  1. Lady divine on

    after getting soooooo close, there must be a good enough reason as to why a person would stop when it’s just a few steps left to get to the final ground…

    Hope all is good..

  2. mia on

    Sonna boy is not going through. ; ( I phoned the sensei and informed him. He was not happy about the decision. Few of the students were not allowed to do grading, as they were not there yet. And my son was given the go ahead to grade for a black belt.
    I asked my son this morning, if he was sure, he didn’t want to go through. He said ‘yes’
    *sigh*
    I will have to find a quiet time to sit down and have a talk with him to try and get to the bottom of this.

  3. the_jester on

    New training institute maybe?

  4. Jack Point on

    Sometimes one gets fed up. Let it be, may be he can return to it later. Not a life and death affair, only a game, if you stop enjoying yourself better to take the break than burn out.

  5. indyana on

    You probably feel frustrated that he is giving up…there being just two classes and all….could he continue later?

  6. mia on

    Jester, JP and Indyana, thanks for answering.
    It is highly unlikely he will take it up again.

    If there is a reason he hasn’t told me yet. But anyone having children will understand it is not easy draw out their feelings.

    What worries me is just stopping at the 11th hour so to speak. That is my only worry. Not whether he got the belt or not.

  7. the_jester on

    I doubt his life is going to be a strin of failures because of this incident. Probably just got bored. That’s coming from one of his own kind, the elusive progeny.

    [Toung-in-cheek]
    Try pretending to be a girl on the IM network he uses and chat him up. Then he’ll tell you… 😉
    [/Toung-in-cheek]

  8. mia on

    Thanks jester, as always you come up with a humorous version.
    You have a good idea though, with the chatting thing. However, if he still listens to his mother ie: not tell strangers who he is, then that won’t work.I think what he chats is mostly games games and more games.

    I have resorted to other methods in the past though. That is, ask his sister to have a casual sibling conversation and then get to the bottom of whatever it was I needed to find.

    I know I am a sneaky mother. : )

    Guess what? If your mother had engaged in such fact-finding missions in the past then I let the cat out the bag.
    oops

  9. the_jester on

    Hah! See if I ever tell my sister anything again! … 😉


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