Agony of Duplicity

How do you comfort someone who has been betrayed in the worst possible way by a close friend? There is nothing I could do or words I could say to comfort, except just be there for them in their time of need and listen. That is all anyone can do really.

Sometimes I have a sense of guilt as I knew some aspects(minute by comparison) of the betrayal when it was carried out yet there was no easy way I could have told the one deceived without the (proverbial) messenger (me) getting killed. They were just minor incidents that kept me vacillating at the time of happening and nothing profound to confide in anyone else without their eyes rolling and questioning my sanity…… at the time inconsequential happenings, yet hindsight shows the contradictory nature. I do take solace in that I never knew the extent of the betrayal or else I would have said something though the very real possibility of getting killed was there.

For the one betrayed it is not something petty that can be put down as a lesson learnt and move on…… and they can’t let it ruin them either because they need to be able to look past this and trust again without being cynical or cold hearted.

Emotional cost of betrayal is very high.


3 comments so far

  1. Lady Divine on

    I can totally relate to this Mia… It feels terrible.. but you cant always get involved right?There are times you need to make a decision… and you can’t always sort things out right either….

    Now all you can do is help in every possible way.. We all surely know what it is like to be betrayed too.. then again, these things happen.:-(

  2. mia on

    LD, No there is no easy way to tell what we might know or suspect and invade a persons’ private space.
    In this case the extent of the betrayal is intricate and devious. That is the sad part.
    I don’t understand where some peoples’ scruples are that they can be cordial while double dealing.
    It beats me.

  3. Agni on

    Totally love and agree with para one.

    but “…trust again without being cynical or cold hearted”. while it should be the case, it is easier said than done.

    In sinhala there is a saying something like “the one who is battered by a pole with fire, is afraid of a fire-fly”

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