A Foible to Curb

I was made aware, rather unceremoniously, of an unintentional tendency of mine to look straight through unappealing people as if they didn’t exist. My radar seems to miss such people when their presence does not excite me and sort of dissipate them from my vision.

I heard someone say “she doesn’t like me”. I looked at her with an expression of ‘who me?’ and looked straight at her as if for the first time and thought ‘who are you? Yes I’ve seen the silhouette but have never noticed you as a person’.

Since then I have made a conscious effort to overcome my failing by striking a conversation with them.  However, I get utterly exhausted after such exertion. Brain races to find an excuse or hope for an interruption to escape the excruciating pain of pretending. If I can’t escape in a hurry, concentration takes a nosedive with glazed eyes and brain on  hibernate mode. I do correct my zombie stance the minute I become aware, however that is one hell of a hard way to live.

Some people are down right bores. No kidding. And these people do not know the meaning of keeping it short and sweet when they talk. No, they have to relate every bump of their tedious story. Sometimes I look at them while they yak and think “take a breather would ya”

That was that, now veering slightly………We went to this place for the umpteenth time on daughter’s behalf and the daughter did the talking ……the saleswoman was wearing a strong perfume which immediately played on my sinuses giving me a runny nose followed by the slow decline of mental agility with the message ‘snooze’. At one time the saleswoman looked at me and asked “would you like a drink of water?”

Later in the car I mentioned to the darling daughter, the affect strong perfume had on my sinuses, and that I must have looked sick for the saleswoman to ask if I wanted a drink of water.

“No mum, her perfume had nothing to do with it. If it is not concerning you, not fully, even remotely, you look utterly bored”.

This is so unfair!

That sounded egocentric!

Had she said “if it doesn’t interest you” I could’ve lived with that. But she said ‘if it is not concerning you’.

Who is this person psychoanalysing me? Do I know her? Darling daughter didn’t stop there, went right ahead with more of the same but I was too stunned digesting my first psychoanalysis to remember the rest.

I know I have a bad habit, I accept that. However it was not the case this time. As I mentioned, we went to this place for the umpteenth time and the first time we visited I asked all the relevant Q especially relating to safety, not just at this place but from every salesperson in every darn place we visited and showed ample interest.

Mind you, we visited six places in total over the course of few weekends; double those visits for five places and more times for the place with the woman and her strong perfume. That is a grand total of 13 times (maybe 14) going in circles.

Anyone in my place would’ve looked bored, nay, pulled their hair in frustration, because ‘someone’ could not make up their mind.


12 comments so far

  1. Darwin on

    What’s wrong with being bored about things that have no relevance to you? I do it all the time! 😀

  2. indyana on

    It’s natural to feel bored under the circumstances I guess! Don’t worry,anyone wud have been.I’m pretty bad at hiding my real emotions too. I would have thought that with age,it would be easier to do so, but,no such thing!I.m trying to get this comment across,just ONCE, :)if it works well and good…

  3. pissu perera on

    about looking right through people, i do that even to the people i know sometimes, if i don’t notice them 😉

  4. Dili on

    Think I mentioned about the art of not listening somewhere.. 🙂

    Honestly some practice with a fake grin, a few well timed nods and after stopping the drooling, you can make that vacant expression into one of enraptured delight and drift off anywhere and not hurt anyones feelings.

    Of course the plus point of your method is that they wont ever bother you again


  5. chaarmax on

    Going through the same boredom with the would be misus choosing jewelery and the what-nots for the wedding.. Help Me I say… If only I could say “Beam me up, Scotty”..

  6. Nishadha on

    I don’t think theres anything wrong with your approach , But as Dili mentioned a few well times nods can do wonders , as for the incident with your daughter no wonder you were bored , my mood will be more close to pissed off.

  7. Nishadha on

    Btw Happy New Year and drop by SL and I’ll give you plenty of “konda kavum and athiraha and kokis and aluwa and…” 🙂

  8. lady divine on

    I tend to get this sometimes… happens a lot… there’s nothing wrong with it..:)

    BTW – off topic –
    How are you? 🙂

  9. mia on

    One word. ‘Mother’ I have to show interest otherwise I am in big trouble 🙂

    Indyana and PP,
    My habit goes a bit beyond. When I am utterly bored with someone I start to yawn non-stop too : )

    I can do that at social gatherings and as a matter of fact I do that a lot at such events but very hard to do on everyday activities

    Aren’t you glad the wedding is over and is (usually) a one off event? 🙂

    Unfortunately I can’t do that being a mother . I have to show some interest even if it was for the 100th time otherwise there’ll be looong faces to deal with. I sometimes think my children are too spoilt.
    Thinking about coming to SL but at the same time a bit worried about the situation too. Let’s see…

    I am doing great and happy too. At the same time my life is a bit complicated at the moment. I just tell that is life and live it. Thanks for asking. Hope you are keeping good too and happy.

  10. John on

    tsk tsk, I think you’re getting a bit frazzled around the edges 😀
    If I want to avoid conversation with people I smile a lot and keep my headphones on. People get tired of repeating the same thing and move away after awhile. heh heh heh

  11. mia on

    That’s the beauty of youth you can do those things and get away with it, unfortunately it is not the same with age and to my shock and horror I think I have become a bit mellow with age. Sigh!

  12. ~ lo$t $oul ~ on

    i guess we have out IGNORE buttons pressed a lil too much sometimes..

    u could escape from all this, if u manage to keep a smile on when u go out, just in case someone who knows passes u by thinks ur smiling at them 😀 just a thought!!

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